“THAT FEELING”

You know that feeling:
how after “having words”
with a dear one
you sit down
before the Beloved’s picture

consciousness filled
with remorse and regret
so nothing else can get in
and it seems life itself
has curdled in your stomach.

No trace of “The Love that moves
the sun and other stars*”,
only local feelings--
a bit like you’ve inhaled
exhaust from a bus.

You sit before the picture
and try, try to let go,
asking for forgiveness.
Nothing moves at first,
everything remains frozen.
You would like to exit your body
but that is impossible.

Perhaps then, you close your eyes.
Slowly, slowly, the putrefaction
begins to drain away.

You begin to feel, in the words
of Mircea Eliade, “Open Behind”,
meaning you can go
as deep as you want
without penalty or barrier!

You will try
to do better.
Thank you, Baba.
****
*Dante, Paradiso 
4/28/24
(Painting: "Balm for a Broken Heart)